Impeachment is a congressional investigation into alleged misconduct by the President of the United States. At the end of the process, the House of Representatives refers any evidence that has been gathered to the U.S. Senate, which then holds a trial.
In the history of the United States, only two Presidents have faced impeachment — Andrew Johnson and Bill Clinton. Richard Nixon resigned before formal impeachment proceedings began.
Here’s what to expect as Congress begins impeachment proceedings against President Trump:
- Each day’s testimony introduced by the “Let’s get ready to rumble!” guy
- Members of House of Representatives will be trying out catchphrases, like “That’s-a good-a testimony!” and “The indictments don’t stop ’til we reach the top!”
- “Baby Trump” balloon bouncing around in the gallery like a beach ball at a Phish concert
- Administration officials holding oversized fedoras in front of their faces to avoid photographers wielding Speed Graphics and giant flashguns
- Witnesses trying to come as close as possible to describing a crime without going over, then risking it all on a “Daily Double”
- NPR’s Mara Liasson and Susan Davis on the red carpet outside the Capitol, describing who’s hot and who’s not
- A free small “Frosty” at participating Wendy’s locations if any of that day’s witnesses present evidence that Trump is a Russian operative (limit one per customer)
- U.S. Surgeon General Jerome Adams in a neutral corner, getting ready to throw in a towel if proceedings become too violent
- Kellyanne Conway becoming so enraged that she stomps her right foot into the ground, then rips herself in two trying to pull it out
- An overwhelming sense that the end of American democracy is getting closer and there’s sweet f-ck all that we can do about it
This one goes out to all of my CMU-affiliated peeps, in honor of the #PolarVortex.
I see people on social media griping about Carnegie Mellon University being closed due to extremely cold weather. Some people think CMU wimped out, while others think they should have closed sooner.
Well, kids, grab your cup of cocoa and settle in as Uncle Jay tells you a story.
It was January 1994 — exactly 25 years ago — and I was an undergraduate commuting by bus from the Mon Valley to Carnegie Mellon.
And it was cold. Not cold like today.
Cold like the heart of your student-loan collection agency.
The reviews of the “Murphy Brown” re-boot are in, and they’re not kind. I watched it with very low expectations — and I laughed a lot, to my own surprise.
(Spoiler alerts follow)
We saw “Murder on the Orient Express” last night.
Capsule review: I had very low expectations, because the reviews have been mixed. It exceeded all of my hopes.
It is a very faithful adaptation of the original Agatha Christie novel — probably more faithful than the famous 1974 movie starring Albert Finney.
And the cinematography is wonderful.
During my day off yesterday, Denise and I saw “The Nice Guys.”
Capsule Review: Denise liked this a lot better than I did. Set in the late 1970s in Los Angeles, Ryan Gosling is a hapless private eye (think Richie Brockelman in “The Rockford Files”) who’s coerced into working with a tough guy enforcer played by Russell Crowe.
The reluctant duo is paid to find an aspiring porn film star who’s on the run from mobsters and a federal agent.
The Saturday, Feb. 20 show is only on Internet radio www.wmck.fm, and if I do say so myself, it’s three hours of smokin’ radio.
(Our flagship station, WRCT 88.3 FM, is doing “Massive Music Weekend,” and you should totally check that out, too.)
And hey! Please check out WMCK.FM when Jay Thurber isn’t on, because it’s a lot of great, new alternative and independent rock, soul, R&B and pop.
There are plenty of ways to listen right here … http://wmck.fm/?p=listen
We’re preempted on Nov. 7 on WRCT (88.3) due to Carnegie Mellon football, which obviously we hope you’ll listen to!
If you’re not interested in football, we have a re-run of a December 2009 episode of “Radio 9” on Internet radio station WMCK.FM.